Mr. Tumnus and the One Eyed Girl

My Monday began as most do, with a decently lame Sunday night. Excuse the pessimism, but I have a flare for the dramatic when I’m trying to make a point. My mind would not shut down for one, an unfortunate and recent side effect from my evening coffee. Consequently, my tossing and turning attracted the attention of my adorable 9 week old kitten, Mr. Tumnus. In order to keep adorable Tumnus from adorably attaching himself claws first to every exposed area of skin on my body, I had to burrow myself under my comforter. So now I’m sweating, battling caffeine induced insomnia, possibly bleeding, and desperately trying to ignore the blaring volume of the T.V. show my dad is watching down stairs.

So I live at home, with my parents. Only I did leave once, for four years, and now I’m back. I graduated almost exactly a year ago from a small college in Portland, OR. I love Portland. I miss it. Now I’m a twenty-five year old post grad who lives with her parents. I’m pretty sure they have a sitcom or two about me. I moved home so I could save some money and figure out what I want to do next with my life. Let’s be fair, I’ve been trying to figure that out since I graduated high school. It is no easy task. I’m casting the net, hoping to drag in something worthy of my lofty ideas and as of yet, fuzzy dreams. Like I said, no easy task.

Monday morning rolls around again, all too soon. The first thing I do is fall down the stairs.(actually, the first thing I do is forget to brush my teeth and put on deodorant, but I won’t realize this until later on in the day). This accident results from my looking backwards to make sure Tumnus was not about to run under my feet, thereby causing me to fall down the stairs. So I fall down, despite my deliberate effort not to. I am still able to leave the house, however, with enough time to grab a cup of coffee and read a few lines from a devotional book I enjoy before I have to be at work.

One of my daily tasks is picking up the office mail. I love this task, as it is one of the few times I am able to leave my desk and go outside. I am a receptionist in a church office and while I love the people I work with and for, I do not like sitting at a desk. As I bend down and reach out to grab the weekend’s mail from the bottom of the drop box I hit the stone pendant hanging from my neck. This act does not hurt, but the force from my extending arm causes the pendant to swing out and up, straight into my wide open eye right eye.  My eye is no longer open. I’m pretty sure this is my good eye, too. I stand there with an ugly, one eyed squint, tears starting to form, and the words, “of course” floating through my mind. Actually, the words floated right out of my mouth, for no one but myself to hear. “Of course. Monday.” As If I just uttered some sort of church appropriate curse word.

I really enjoy Mondays, in a masochistic way. I enjoy the camaraderie when the UPS delivery man comes in and asks how I’m doing. “Oh, hey Randy! I’m still waking up, ya know?”, I say through a yawn. To which Randy replies, “It’s Monday, don’t be so hard on yourself, you got this!” I love Randy. This mutual understanding of complaint is our Monday grace for each other. Monday is like the week’s pre-workout warm up. It doesn’t really count, because it’s Monday.

Some days, especially Mondays, I wish I could simply wash my hands of and move on from. In some ways I do, and that isn’t all bad. But I am realizing more with each “one day” that passes though my hands, I want them to count. Every single one. The good, the bad, the boring. Would I be different if instead of wanting to wipe the not so glamorous moments off the record of my life, I used them to my advantage? I’m not sure exactly how to do this yet, at least not perfectly. But I’m filing away my Monday moments, believing they are learning moments, not full of fear, but full of opportunity. A rough start only defines you as far as you let it. Monday. is where the dream begins to wake, reality sets in, and the adventure begins. It is a beautiful day. Now if only I could open my eyes to see if fully. Cheers to the week!

Dream

 

 

 

Mr. Tumnus and the One Eyed Girl